Yard Games Blog

I teach radio commercial writing, how to sell radio advertising, and how to create effective radio advertising.

 

Recently I critiqued two radio commercials for a client.

 

I was typically meticulous in my critique.

 

I’ve never told anyone this, but as soon as I’ve e-mailed an advertising critique to a client, I become a little nervous.

 

What if they’re offended? I do not want to offend someone. Especially people who…well, who pay me.

 

So when my e-mail inbox included two messages from him this morning, I took a deep breath before opening them.

 

The first was in response to my first critique:

 

“Awesome! Thanks for the fantastic job … This is REALLY helpful. I’ll be sending you some new commercials soon for your critique.”

 

The second message, responding to the second critique, said:

 

“Thanks again … great suggestions and points.”

 

It was a nice way to start the morning.

 

Usually I critique commercial copy before it’s produced. That makes sense to me, because that way the client has time to change the copy before going into production. But this time I had critiqued commercial copy that already had been recorded.

 

One hour and 16 minutes after I received the client’s second “wow, thanks!” response, I received a very long e-mail from someone I don’t know.

 

That someone appears to be the guy who wrote and produced the commercials I had critiqued. It was a copy of a message he’d sent the client.

 

It was not what one would call a rave review of my critiques.

 

Two elements of his rant leapt out at me:

 

1. He defended the use of the lame voice talent (whom I had pointed out sounded like a schlocky announcer who clearly was simply reading the copy he was being paid to read) by saying, “With our budget, that’s all we can afford.”

 

Ridiculous.

 

Those particular spots didn’t require a voiceover superstar. It would have cost only $250 - $300 to get a much better voiceover performance.

 

I don’t know what they paid their voice over guy, but if they’re not willing to shell out $250 – $300 for a decent announcer read, they need to adjust their priorities.

 

2.It was a very long e-mail. I mean, this guy was upset.

 

AND THEN I DID SOMETHING VERY, VERY SMART.

 

I closed the e-mail without reading it.

 

I got the gist of it: “You don’t know what the heck you’re talking about.”

 

Why read further?

 

So I could become offended?

 

So I could catalog and rebut his evidence of my alleged incompetence?

 

Do you know what would have happened if I had taken two minutes to read his entire attack (or, from his perspective, his defense of his work)?

 

I would have spent hours mentally refuting his every point.

 

That’s how my brain works. If I think I’ve been unfairly attacked, my instinct is to defend myself — even if only within the privacy of my own mind.

 

But I had other stuff to do today. Why waste any of my sorely limited time (and even more severely limited brain power) marshalling an argument I never would deliver?

 

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?

 

Maybe nothing.

 

Or maybe you’re a radio station producer and a thoughtless salesperson mentioned, while passing you in the hallway, “The client hates that spot you did for him.”

 

Oh? You mean that spot that was approved every step of the way and now is on the air?

 

Let it go. Getting all upset won’t help you at all.

 

Or you’re an account exec and the Traffic Director screams at you because you didn’t remind her that she had promised to change your client’s rotation, so she forgot to do it and it’s all your fault.

 

Let it go. Let her words float past you like a summer breeze. (You don’t bother to argue with the wind, do you?)

 

Or you’re a jock, and the station engineer(!) pointedly tells you the comedy bit you did on yesterday’s show “really wasn’t very funny.”

 

Should the radio station engineer be critiquing the radio air talent? No.

 

Should you care anything at all about whether the station engineer thinks you’re funny or your show is good? C’mon.

 

Let it go.

 

Use that time and energy for something constructive.

 

Why, look at me. The time I saved by not reading and then mentally constructing a devastating response to that e-mail?

 

I used it to write this article.

As a radio advertising expert who teaches radio copywriting to people who want to create profitable radio advertising, often I shock people by telling them the following:

 

When it comes to deliver ing a sales message via commercials, radio is  a visual medium. That might sound ridiculous…or hard to believe. After all, anyone can see (or hear) that radio is an auditory medium…isn’t it?

 

Yes, the initial connection to the audience is made auditorily, via sound. But for the sales message to have a conscious impact on the listener, that listener almost invariably converts the sounds into mental pictures. It’s this combination of auditory and visual that makes good radio advertising so powerful…or, actually, that makes all good radio so powerful.

 

A television commercial is limited to whatever actual images the spot’s producers can make appear on your tv set. But the images that your mind can create have no restrictions.

 

All the gadgets, bells and whistles at your disposal should be used only in service of the overall creative sales effort. Is there a reason to use reverse echo on this spot? Is there a reason to use phasing or to speed up or slow down the vocal pitch?

 

Flashy tricks and techniques are wonderful when they actually add to the impact of the presentation. Otherwise, they’re simply distractions; you’re just showing off for the sake of showing off.

 

Imagine that you’re in a Las Vegas casino. As you approach a gambling table, a casino employee picks up a deck of cards. He proceeds to shuffle them with a series of broad flourishes. He amazes you with his dexterity and his speed. Then he puts the cards away and proceeds to spin the roulette wheel. That card-handling artistry probably would be wonderful at a blackjack table; it would enhance your blackjack-playing experience. But doing that at a roulette table ….Well, the guy’s just showing off, wasting your time, and distracting you from the appeal of the roulette wheel.

 

GOOD COMMERCIALS —  THE RADIO STATION’S SECRET WEAPON:     Let’s say there are two evenly matched stations in a market, presenting the same musical format. Music, staff, signal, etc. — the stations are evenly matched. Let’s further assume that Station “A” produces typical, run-of-the-mill commercials — i.e., boring, noncreative 30 and 60-second spots. The commercials produced by Station “B,” however, are fresh, interesting, provocative, entertaining — in short, people actually enjoy hearing them.

 

When Station “A” begins a stopset, it is likely to lose far more listeners than Station “B” will with its stopsets. That means higher ratings for Station “B.” Which should mean higher revenues for Station “B.” And bigger commissions for Station “B”’s account executives.

RADIO COMMERCIAL FOR LEXUS

Radio advertising looks so easy, which is why so many people who know nothing about radio copywriting continue to create bad radio commercials.

Car dealer associations in Southern California have a long history of airing terrible radio commercials.

The latest entry in this Motorcade of Shame begins:

“Going once…going twice…Sold!”

THEN:  Sound effect of an air horn, apparently signaling the end of a sporting event. And then a few sung words of opera, followed by “Bravo!”

Then an announcer informs us, “Every event must come to end. And the the Lexus Zero-To-60 Certified Pre-Owned Sales Event is no exception. Right now, we have a large selection of meticulously inspected vehicles available, and every single one of them is on sale. We even have a line of groundbreaking hybrids…”

So….First they paint a mental picture of an auction. Then a sporting event. Then an opera.

Y’know, for the typical luxury car buyer who enjoys auctions, sporting events and the opera.

But you pictured an auction, right? And maybe you also pictured an opera? (Perhaps you also pictured an air horn.)

And how clearly did you see “the Lexus Zero-To-60 Certified Pre-Owned Sales Event”?

And exactly who instructed all automobile dealers to their promotions as “Sales Events”?

Instead of “Sales Events,” why not come right out and declare them to be “Come Give Us Your Money” events?

They brag about having a “large selection” of motor vehicles “available.” Wow! Stop the presses!

“CAR DEALERS HAVE LARGE SELECTIONS OF VEHICLES AVAILABLE!”

The vehicles, by the way, are “meticulously inspected.” They were inspected; we’re not told if any of them passed.

Oh, and we also have hybrids! The hybrids break ground, which apparently is very important.

1.9% financing! Irresistible lease rates!

They give a deadline. Of course, that deadline was 5 weeks from the day I heard this commercial, so it doesn’t exactly build a feeling of urgency.

And why don’t we end with two Calls To Action followed by 12 seconds of disclaimer?

Southern California Lexus Dealers: Good cars, bad radio commercials.

When I teach people how to write radio commercials, as a radio advertising expert here is what I tell them about radio commercial writing.

 

SELL THE RESULTS, NOT THE PRODUCT.

 

I don’t care if Ed’s Toothpaste has been judged the World’s Greatest Toothpaste. I want to know if it can keep my teeth cavity-free, my smile gleaming white, and my breath fresh and inviting. I don’t care how long Ed’s Photo Shop has been in business. I do care about their printing my photos quickly and well.

 

Identify a need that will be filled or a problem that will be solved…make the listener aware of that need or problem…and then show the listener how your product or service will fill the need or solve the problem.

 

FOCUS ON THE LISTENER.

 

Another vital, usually overlooked rule: “Present the information from the listener’s point of view, not the advertiser’s.” The listener couldn’t care less about the advertiser. The listener cares only about the listener.

 

Most radio commercials, however, simply brag about the advertiser: “Ed’s Bank has served the Midvale area for 57 years. Ed’s Bank is a proud member of the community. Ed’s Bank is the largest bank in the south.”

 

That kind of “Look How Great We Are” radio advertisement does nothing to command the interest of the listener. That kind of advertising harms both the advertiser and the radio station.

 

DANGER: BAD COMMERCIAL AHEAD.

 

A bad radio commercial is dangerous to the radio station — much more dangerous than a bad tv commercial is to a television station or a bad newspaper ad is to a newspaper.

 

If you’re reading the paper and your eyes spot a boring, poorly designed, badly executed advertisement, what will you do? You’ll flip the pages. What happens when you’re watching television and a bad commercial begins to play? You’ll start a conversation with the person who’s watching with you…or distractedly look through the newspaper…or go into the kitchen to grab a snack.

 

BUT….If a bad radio commercial comes on when you’re listening, what will you do? Your mind will wander away…or — especially if you’re listening in your automobile — you’ll tune OUT the radio station with the lousy commercial and INTO another, competing station.

 

Bad newspaper ads and tv spots just fail to sell. Bad radio spots fail to sell AND they drive listeners away!